


Can't We Just Pretend

by Ezzy_Pie



Series: Valindra/Solas Oneshots [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Smut, post breakup sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-07 23:01:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4281255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ezzy_Pie/pseuds/Ezzy_Pie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The final fight with Corypheus is looming ever closer and Valindra Lavellan finds herself outside Solas's door late one night...she knocks.</p><p>Smutty times ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So i've finished my novella and i am rewarding myself by indulging in a little fanfic :)
> 
> Hope you like.

The last place Valindra expected to find herself was standing outside Solas’s door. They had barely looked at each other in months, let alone spoken, not since Crestwood. She had stopped taking him into the field; leaving him to his research, save for that one awkward expedition to the Temple of Dirthamen.

When she slipped from her room, she had every intention of crawling into bed with Dorian again. With Bull in the field, he was welcoming of her company, the two snuggling down in his plush Orlesian mattress. Dorian would hold her against him, curving his body against hers, stroking her hair and reading aloud until she fell asleep in his arms. 

Her own lonely bed was just a reminder of what and who she had lost.

She missed having the press of his warm flesh against her back, to be awoken in the early hours with tender kisses and roaming hands, to lie in tangled sheets with sweat gleaned bodies. She missed all those times in the field when Solas made love to her with excruciating slowness, holding his hand firmly over her mouth to silence her moans from the rest of camp. There would be no more nights like that one time at the Winter Palace…

She missed walking the fade with him, his lessons and his stories of ancient Arlathan. She missed watching him paint, the vibrant colours staining his hands for days after. She missed curling up in his lap on his sofa as they read silently in those rare moments of quiet. And she missed all those times he whispered “Ar lath ma” and called her Vhenan.

She should not have come here; she should turn around and go to Dorians room, right now. But right now she needed comfort, and not in a way Dorian could help with no matter how he liked to joke otherwise. With the final showdown with Corypheus looming ever closer on the horizon, she was plagued with doubts, she wasn’t sleeping and everyone looked to her for answers and the one person who could always calm her riotous mind had walked away. 

Just for a little while she didn’t want to be the inquisitor, she didn’t want to be anyone’s only hope. She just wanted to be Valindra, and so she knocked on his door. 

After what seemed like an eternity she heard rustling on the other side of the door, heard his feet padding across the floor, heard him grasp the door handle…then nothing. He knew it was her who stood outside his door and she wondered if he would even open it. A small part of her wished he wouldn’t.

Valindra held her head high and proud, exuding the illusion of confidence, and save for the small fact of the flimsy silk shift she wore, she may have convinced herself. She heard him sigh heavily, and the handle turned.

He stood before her, broad shouldered and bare chested, save for the jawbone amulet. Valindra was reminded once more of how much larger than other elves he was. Woollen leggings pulled tight over muscled thighs, resting on his narrow hips. Just the sight of him in his state of semi undress ignited a fire in her belly that made her thighs tremble. 

His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed, appraising her with cool, blue-grey eyes, still red and slightly puffy from sleep. “Inquisitor?” 

Valindra pushed past him into the room before he could stop her or send her away. He remained standing beside the door, still holding it open, looking over his shoulder at her, his gaze as unreadable as ever.

She cast her eyes downwards, wringing her hands as she tried to gather her scattered thoughts. She could feel his eyes boring into her.

“Solas...” She took a cautious step forward, reaching for him. He flinched away; a waver of uncertainty crossed his features, her hand stopping short of caressing his cheek.

He exerted control in all things, even in the bedroom he had always seemed to be holding back from her, he had only truly let himself go once. His jaw clenched tighter and he stood like stone before her, schooling his sharp features, betraying nothing of his own thoughts. 

But his eyes told her everything. 

Blue grey orbs flickered over her scantily clad body, ever so briefly, before hardening like stone. He had given himself away; she had seen the dark desire flash in his eyes. He may not love her, but he still desired her. And that was enough.

“Solas...I know things are over between us, but... can I stay with you, just for tonight..." Before he could respond, Valindra reached up, slipping the skinny straps of the slinky nightgown from her shoulders, letting the fabric fall to the floor, pooling at her feet. She stood bare before him, his eyes dark as his gaze raked over her body, drinking in her nakedness, his mask slipping. Want, raw and burning in his features. Composing himself, his gaze snapped up, locking with hers, anger burned there. 

“Would you not prefer the Commanders company?” He snarled, betraying his emotions, his fists balling at his sides, the air about him chilling the room, gooseflesh spread across her skin. Valindra stilled, that humiliation had been months ago, Cullen still couldn’t look at her without blushing and excusing himself from whatever room she was occupying. She remembered throwing Solas a smug glance when he saw her storming from the war room that day.

Her ire flared, he had no right to be angry, he had ended things between them, she was free to bed whom she pleased.

"What is it to you who I sleep with? You ended it between us!" Let him think she fucked Cullen, she wasn’t about to tell him the truth. She hurt still, and a childish part of her wanted him to hurt too. 

“And yet here you stand, naked, asking me to bed you, after another has already laid his hands on you!" Valindra was shocked by the vehemence in his tone, anger radiating from his carefully controlled demeanour. It was a mistake to come here. Did she honestly think this could have gone any other way? They were still so angry at each other, the hurt still too raw.

“Solas.” 

“No!”

Slamming the door, he was across the room in two strides, grasping her shoulders tightly, fingers biting into her flesh, his blue-grey eyes were dark, predatory as he stalked her back towards his narrow bed where he shoved her roughly down upon it with a growl, knocking the breath from her lungs, pressing her into the mattress. Straddling her hips he pinned her hands above her head. His lips crashed down upon hers, ravaging her lips, thrusting his tongue into her mouth, Creators she had missed this! Her body responded, desire pooling in her belly at the familiar weight of him on top of her, his cock pressed against her stomach. Yes, this is what she wanted, what she needed. 

He tore his lips from hers and she mewled at the loss.

“What is it you want from me inquisitor? A furious fuck on the eve of war? I am sure there are many who would indulge you. The Commander perhaps, or your fellow Dalish, Loranil.” His breath was hot against her ear, low and menacing and despite his attempt at cruelness, his voice broke. 

“Please, Solas. Please don't call me that.” She shook her head, it hurt that he was so formal with her, even while he sat astride her. His stony features softened slightly, enough for her to glimpse the pain he kept locked behind his eyes. It was a selfish of her to ask this of him, but she wanted to be selfish, just this once.

“I'm afraid Solas, we are not all going to survive this, Corypheus, I just needed...” She pinned him with bright sapphire eyes, glistening with unshed tears. He released her hands, staring down at her, spread beneath him in all her naked glory, silver hair wild and mussed, her bare cheeks flushed and lips bruised from his harsh kisses.

“Can't we just pretend Solas, just for tonight, that you still care.” 

“Vhe...Valindra, I don't think...”

“Solas, please, I know it can't mean anything, and I know you don't owe me anything; you made your feelings about me abundantly clear that night at Crestwood.” Her heart ached, closing her eyes against the painful memory, oblivious to Solas’s own sharp intake of breath. 

“But I need this, please.” He stared down at her, mask securely back in place, he was silent for what seemed like forever. When he finally spoke, his voice was so low she could barely hear him.

“What is it you wish of me...Valindra?”

She peered up at him from beneath a curtain of silver hair, sapphire eyes full of forbidden wonder. “Fuck me like you did at Halamshiral.” 

His eyes narrowed, she knew he remembered that night. How could he not.

“No.”

“What!” 

“I'm not going to fuck you.”

“Solas...”

“I'm going to make love to you.” 

She shook her head, her tears finally spilling over. “No, Solas, I...I can't.” He brushed the tears from her eyes, his thumbs tracing the line where her valaslin had once been, before pressing a soothing kiss to her brow.

“You asked for pretend.”

Then he kissed her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut, just smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo, here's some smut. Solas and Valindra do the deed.

Solas pressed his lips to hers in a tender caress, gently drawing her lower lip between his teeth, his tongue dancing the familiar dance with her own. Valindra sighed against his mouth, melting against the familiar warmth of his touch, lightly raking her nails across his back as he nuzzled at the hollow of her throat and shoulder. 

“You are so beautiful,” he breathed against her ear, running his long fingers through her tussled hair. He swept the stands of silver from her face, trailing soft kisses down the ivory column of her throat, caressing the shell of her ear with his thumb, massaging the sensitive points.

Valindra half-heartedly tried to pull away, even as his touch fuelled the fire coursing through her veins. The action was too intimate, Solas was being too gentle, too loving, this was not what she wanted, to have him lay worship to her body as though she still meant something to him, and yet…

She could easily allow herself to be swept away in the pleasantness of the dream, melting beneath his tender caresses, carried away to a happier time as his teeth moved to nip at the flesh across her collar bone, sucking and biting, his teeth scraping across her skin, drawing pleasured sighs and gasps from her as no other ever had.   
Just for tonight, for this one night, they would pretend to be as they once were, before the heartache and pain. Stripping away the hurt until there was only Solas and herself and the shadows of love once shared. Tonight they would be what they should have been and she would savour this night, for it would be their last. 

Solas, sensing her inner turmoil as he always had, lavished light kisses across her bare cheeks, kissing away the salty tears that still lingered upon her face. He brushed light kisses across her eyelids and down her temple, following the path where Mythal’s branches had once marked her face. 

She ran her hands firmly across the lean muscles of his back, and down to the firmness of his arse; giving a hard squeeze she felt his lips curve into a smile against her mouth, revelling in the feel of his warm flesh pressed against her. Raking her nails back up over his shoulders , Valindra clasped her hands at the base of his neck, pulling him close, brushing her fingers over the rough hairs of his shaved scalp, kissing him deeply, tasting the tea he so detested on his lips. 

“I have missed you,” She sighed against his lips, the words tumbling forth before she could stop them.

“As have I” And she was thankful for the lie on his lips.

His long, paint stained fingers ghosted across her skin, casting an icy trail; he slipped from her hold to follow the path with the warmth of his tongue, swirling a hot trail across her neckline. Fire blazed in her belly, pleasured groans and gasped eliciting from her throat, arching against his mouth as Solas gently grazed her nipple with his teeth, drawing the rose tipped peak into his mouth. Pinching and teasing the other to a hardened peak between cool fingertips, before lavishing the same attention upon the other before kissing a searing trail down her belly, his tongue dipping into her belly button on his descent. 

Lower still he travelled, nudging her legs apart, allowing him to dip between her thighs, placing a deep kiss to her molten hot core, his tongue swirling. A low, pleasured moan escaped her as she arched off the bed, his hand pinning her, holding her down while his tongue worked it's seductive magic, leaving her panting and breathless, her fists bunching tightly in the sheets, her hips bucking against his tongue. White hot fire burned through her and electricity skited across her body as his thumb joined his mouth to trace lazy circles around the sensitive nub between her thighs, and it was a struggle to keep from clamping her legs closed as she squirmed with the pleasure of it. She grasped his head, pulling him closer, a whimper escaping her as his tongue left her.

She was so wet with want, he slipped a finger inside easily, delving into the wet heat between her thighs, a second finger joining the first. She arched her hips against his hand, stroking and curling his fingers against her inner walls, circling his thumb lazily over the sensitive nub. She writhed and bucked against the building pressure, grinding her hips, her fingers biting painfully into his shaved scalp. Warm tendrils of magic pulsed at his finger tips and she shattered so suddenly and unexpectedly she saw stars, the mark flared at her palm, her magic surging, static charge enveloping them as she cried out his name.

Solas allowed her no time to recover, crawling back up her body, his hands and lips were everywhere. His hands fisting in her wildly charged hair, squeezing and pinching her breasts and nipples. All at once he was kissing, touching, caressing, his mouth at her throat, his teeth grazing her flesh, leaving his mark, branding her as though she were still his.

And suddenly, one coherent thought struck her, in the midst of mindless lust, she couldn't stand the thought that he believed someone else had had her, had brought her body to life the way he had. Yes, they had agreed for one night to pretend. And yes, this wasn't real, yet it felt cruel to continue to let him believe that someone else had touched her as he had, had left their mark upon her skin, no matter that Solas was the one who broke her heart.

She grasped his face between her small hands, her tongue dancing along his lips, clasping him to her; she ran her tongue along the shell of his ear, revelling in the feel of him shudder and grunts against her.  
"Solas... I never slept with Cullen." His hands stopped and he drew back, blue-grey eyes dark and filled with lust, a deep frown marring his brow and something else, relief? 

He was upon her then, lips crashing down upon hers, devouring her, clasping her to him like she was the only thing in the world, a sudden urgency surging through him. She pulled at his woollen leggings; he leaned back, all but tearing them from himself, leaving nothing but the wolf bone amulet between them. 

Solas hooked his arms beneath her knees, Valindra unable to stifle a throaty laugh as he pulled her down the narrow bed, and entered her, burying himself to the hilt in one smooth thrust, his eyes closing as a low, guttural mown escaped him. Valindra moaned obscenely at the sensation, gasping at the feel of him once again inside her, filling her, stretching her, fitting together perfectly. 

Two pieces of the same whole

***

Nails raked down his back, and lightning sparked at her fingertips, her body arched to meet his as he thrust hard, burying himself deep within her, a deep groan rumbling from his chest. 

It was like coming home. 

The long months they had been apart, thinking she had fucked the Commander in her anger, had chipped away at his heart and soul. To know the truth, even though he didn’t deserve such, to feel her beneath him again, to taste of her once more was everything hadn’t let himself dream. The heady scent of her surrounded him and he buried his face in the masses of static charged hair, nuzzling and nipping at her throat. And wondered, not for the first time, how and why he had set such an exquisite creature from himself, had allowed himself to be without her all these months. He was being selfish by indulging her, but he was a selfish man.

He gazed down at her, sapphire eyes heavy lidded with desire. He should never have touched her, should have kept the relationship purely academic, played haren to her da’len. It had been the most selfish thing he had done since awakening, and now they both nursed broken hearts.

He began to move, slowly at first, searing a trail of hot biting kisses down her throat and along her shoulder, her hips thrusting upwards to meet him. He quickly quickened his pace, biting down on her shoulder, suckling the tender flesh, growling as he left his mark; it stroked his ego to see her branded thus. 

She bucked and moaned beneath him, clasping him tightly to her, nails digging painfully into his back, his name a whispered prayer on her lips as she sighed and moaned his name. His hands roamed her silken flesh, as his tongue traced the shell of her ear, drawing the sensitive point between his teeth, revelling in the gasp that he drew forth. She wrapped her legs about him, drawing him ever deeper, imprisoned between her thighs as she ground her hips up to meet each deep thrust. 

A smirk spread across her lips, and she hooked her leg across his back, rolling them so they tumbled from the narrow bed to land on the floor this a thud. He grunted as she landed atop him, his cock still deep inside her, his hands grasping harshly at her hips. 

It was a struggle for him to relinquish control, but for her, anything.

She rolled her hips, grinding hard against his cock, grinning broadly at the harsh groan he expelled. The image of her like this was burned into his memory as he drank in the sight of her above him. Head tossed back, silver hair in wild disarray, frizzed with static charge, the fullness of her mouth, full pink lips parted, and nails digging into his shoulders as she panted above him.  
The fine threads of his control was fraying, his fingers biting painfully into her hips.

She leaned forward, her hands sliding over the broad, taut muscles of his chest, running her hot, wet tongue up his neck, burning his skin, marking him with hard, biting kisses. Her naked breasts pushed against his flesh, the amulet pressed between them. 

Her breath came hot in his ear, her teeth grazing the tip, sending a sharp spark of pleasure rocketing through him.

"It has not been so long that I have forgotten, my wolf" Whether she had meant to use her pet name for him, he would never know, but she slipped off him, and he grunted as she crawled back off him, his rock hard cock, slick with her juices, falling against his belly. 

His cock twitched and he almost came just looking at her. Valindra was on her hands and knees, arse in the air, looking back over her shoulder, her bottom lip drawn between her teeth, a coy expression on her delicate face, an offering for the dread wolf. She knew what he liked. He didn’t deserve her, he never had, but that hadn’t stopped him before.

And it wouldn’t stop him now.

With a bestial growl, he was behind her, grasping her arse and roughly thrusting into her. She cried out as he slammed into her, nails biting into the soft flesh at her hips. He pulled back slowly, almost all the way before ramming back into her, she dropped her head, and grunted against the impact,

" Yes...Solas..." she panted as he set a punishing pace, pumping furiously into her, pushing them both to the brink, the obscene slap of flesh against flesh, their pleasure filled cries filling the room. He wrapped his arm tightly about her breasts, pulling her back up against him, the jawbone pressed hard into her back. Their ragged breaths filled the room, electricity thrummed across their skin, the air about them chilling. She leaned back into his chest, clasping the nape of his neck, as he continued to fuck her relentlessly, biting at her ear. 

“Dread Wolf take me…fuck…Solas…”

She broke apart in his arms, screaming his name as she shattered into a million pieces, her nails biting into his neck, tiny bursts of lightening shooting across his skin, her breath hard and laboured. 

He bit down hard on her shoulder, tasting blood as he hurtled toward his peak, exploding, spilling his seed deep and hot inside her, but not before the forbidden word spilled from on his lips as he broke. 

“Vhenan.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas once more considers confessing his truth.

They made love until the early hours of the morning, until the first rays of light filtered through the slit windows above his bed, uncaring if anyone heard their pleasured gasps and shuddering moans.

They lay sated and gleaming with sweat, tangled amongst his sheets, exhaustion having drawn the Inquisitor to the fade a short time ago. Yes, the Inquisitor, best reset the formality of their previous relationship securely in his mind. It was better that way

He had yet to succumb to sleep, though his blue-grey eyes were heavy and red rimmed. He couldn’t risk sleep, Solas was unsure whether he would be able to stop himself from seeking her out in her dreams, he was unwilling to let this tryst end. He wanted to savour every moment, drink in these last stolen moments with her. 

He glanced down at the woman asleep in his arms. Valindra, no, the Inquisitor, lay nestled in the crook of his arm, hair wild and free about her creamy shoulders, one shapely leg still swung over his hip, one arm flung across his chest, the other tucked beneath her chin, her chest rising and falling with the shallow breaths of sleep. He pressed a kiss to her brow, furrowed in sleep and he wondered at her dreams. He brushed the silver strands from her face, tracing the back of his knuckles across her cheek. He would hold her in his arms forever if the fates allowed.

He missed this, missed her deeply, just being in her presence made his heart lighter. In all his years, he had never loved another as he loved the inquisitor, Valindra, forever his vhenan. His heart ached each time he looked at her now; the sadness dwelling behind her sapphire eyes was his doing. His own pain shredding his selfish heart a little more each time, until he wondered how it was still beating in his chest at all.

Solas cursed himself for the umpteenth time for the coward he was. That horrible night in Crestwood plagued his dreams, he kept drawing himself back to the memory night after night, reliving the crushing heartbreak his selfishness and cowardice had caused them both. Watching her heart break and crumble to dust before his eyes again and again, the agony etched in her newly bare features as he walked away from her, her tears spilling down her naked face as she called out to him, begging him not to leave her. 

And Valindra Lavellan was not one to beg.

Had he not bowed out like a coward, would she have accepted his truth? His identity, his true name was something to be feared and reviled by her people, a cursed being who lied and deceived, who had locked away the Gods out of spite. Or so the Dalish believed.

A dry laugh escaped him. Liar, deceiver, betrayer, he was all these things, even if the meaning behind his past deeds had become twisted over the millennia as he had slept, painting him as the worst evil. He had plied her with half-truths and lies since the moment her met her, betrayed her by his lack of faith and trust in her, and yet, he never gave her the chance, allowed her the benefit of his doubt. She was not the typical Dalish, she never had been. She had been the first Dalish to accept his truths, to not spit on him with ignorance and hatred, to never call him Flat-Ear. Could she have willingly accepted the Dread Wolf into her bed? 

Solas had been certain his secret would be discovered when she drank of the well. Had expected the ancient whisperings to out him, had dreaded it above all else in that moment at Mythal’s temple, so great was his fear of losing her. It had cemented his decision to tell her everything, a decision he had been agonising over ever since she had stolen the Dread Wolfs heart. Taking her to Crestwood, he had intended to explain, to show her his truth, before the well could unmask him. But when she looked at him with eyes full of such love for him, no, for "Solas" he couldn't bear to see those beautiful sapphire eyes fill with hatred, or at least that was the lie he had told himself.

So, he had offered a different truth, the valaslin, and broken her heart instead. He told himself it was for her benefit, for her protection, but he knew that wasn't the full truth if it. He was an excellent liar, even to himself. Part of him was deeply afraid she would accept his true self, and worse still, that she would offer him the forgiveness he so craved. Forgiveness he didn't deserve.

Pulling her closer, Solas pushed the offensive thoughts from his mind. He would not waste this precious time. She stirred, stretching against him, a lazy, satisfied smile spreading across her lips as she began to wake. He watched as she blinked awake, seemingly genuinely surprised to still be in his quarters. Snatching the sheet to her breasts, she sat up.  
"I'm sorry Solas, I didn't mean..." she was silenced by his fingers on her lips.  
“You asked to spend the night, did you not?" she nodded, waves of hair falling forwards across her breasts.

“Then you need not apologise," Solas opened his arms, after a moment’s hesitation, she lay down against him, enveloped in his warm embrace. They lay in silence for the longest time as he traced circles across her shoulders with his paint stained fingers. He had missed this, contemplating the quiet, just being with her, she quietened the rioting darkness of his mind. Nothing else mattered and it was all too easy to forget. 

She had been a surprise from the first; could she love his true self? Dare he tell her? He still had a mission, an obligation to right the wrongs that had brought the people so low. Yet, what did he have to lose? He had already given her up once. Yet he possibly had everything to gain, to have her at his side, rallying his cause. They were great together, and could be again. With her help...

A smile tugged at his lips as she pressed soft a kiss to his chest. 

"Valindra, I...' she put her fingers to his lips. 

"Don't, Solas. There's no need, I know what you’re going to say."

"I doubt..."

"Please, don't say anything" she smiled sadly at him, refusing to allow him to speak. She sat up; rolling off him, the loss of her warmth chilled him to the bone. She was leaving. 

"Valindra let me..." she shook her head again.

"Solas, last night was perfect, you gave me what I needed, and I thank you for not sending me away." He watched as she slipped the skimpy nightdress over her shoulders. Panic seized him. 

"Please, vhenan.” they both stilled, he heard her sharp intake of breath, he hadn't meant to say it.  
“It’s alright Solas, you don't have to lie anymore. I thank you for saying it last night, for a time it felt like we were us again. But the night has past." He got off the bed, wrapping the sheet about his waist; he hesitated, his hands hovering inches from her before he gently cupped her delicate face between his palms, his tumultuous gaze locking with hers. 

"You could stay." His voice was soft, hardly a whisper, but he knew she was lost to him once more. 

"We could keep pretending, Solas, but you still have your secrets, and nothing has changed. It will only hurt more than it already does, but this..." Valindra smiled gently, removing his hands from her face, clasping them between her own, tears glistening unshed in her eyes. 

“This was just pretend.” She turned from him, opening the door. 

Say something you fool! Tell her, now, before it’s too late. 

"It wasn't all a lie, Valindra...I just..." What? Still care? Still love you so much it hurts? 

"Can't?" His mouth snapped shut, as she finished his words, his face fell, unable to keep the mask from slipping. 

She stepped towards him, placing a soft kiss on his lips, her knuckles stroking the sharp edge of his cheekbone. 

“I know," and then she was gone, and he was once more alone. It was for the best. He was Fen’Harel, the Dread Wolf.

He who hunts alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it. :)


End file.
